#1...Hi Camille and Todd! First and foremost, I want to say thank you for all your help. Barry and I went through the 75 days successfully. Things were great! Barry and I started new hobbies. 1 in particular was going to the gym. It helped get through staying clean. He committed himself and stuck to all the rules.
After it was over, he decided he was going to celebrate his birthday. Sadly with booze and weed. Sigh.... I couldn't do much about that. So, now I'm scared it's going to start all over again. A week went by and after searching for jobs, he found one. Yeah, good right? Well, the environment there was, well, not favorable for him to stay clean and sober. They treated him to lunch and gave him money. So off he went to buy booze and weed again. We discussed that he was going to have to quit. Today he was to go there and resign, which he did (I scouted his E-Mail). Unfortunately they have probably paid him out and my guess is he won't be coming home tonight. I ordered the Devils candy Book and it will be here soon.
This is tough because after he few slips, he is seriously contemplating moving away. If he does, it's probably for the best because it will be because he still wants to party. There is no other reason for me to fathom. He also does not want to put us through any more headaches. My friend has denied me her place to escape to when he's wasted and that's probably for the best too. I don't know what when or how, but that's what's happening now. I can't help but think this will happen again. It's hard for me to keep tabs on his comings and goings because of my responsibilities with work and my daughter. I'm not going to always be able to prevent him from slipping and I know it. I'm really just fed up with it all and don't want to deal with it anymore. He doesn't want me to be his "mother" nor do I want to be. I just can't believe after things went so well that he would go back to his addictions so easily. I'm sad for him. I love him and want him to be well. Not much else to say. This might be the end of the line. But, most of us say that and keep going through it. I'm trying to be strong, but my daughter is tired of seeing him drunk and messed up too. Today she asked if we have to go home after I picked her up. She was worried and it made me really really upset to hear how it's affected her. I have to seriously look into counseling for us and will do so weather he stays and continues to clean up again or leaves. It's so much to bear. I don't know how you held it all together Camille. You have so much more responsibility with 3 kids and a home. I admire your strength. Anyways, I'll go now. I just wanted to update you guys. Take care. Hope all is well and will talk to you soon.
Love, Savoia (Savoy...lol, that's for you Todd)
In the quest to conquer cocaine addiction, is it ok for a crack addict to
drink? My boyfriend who is trying to conquer crack addiction seems to think
anytime he chooses since he is 45 years old is ok, he didn't hurt anyone or
anything. He just gave me a check the other day he cashed last week of $750
because he had cashed it and had temptations. He still holds the atm card
and has access to his money, because he doesn't want to be controlled. I so
much long to help, but am very hurt tonight because he gets upset everytime
I question him when he decides to drink. I am seriously considering giving
up on this relationship of three years. I have waited two years for him to
stop and even tells me how he can't drink when I'm not here and how he
messed up over the last month almost every weekend for a month. I was gone
to Florida with a job, and he used every Saturday night or Sunday evening.
Made it to work everytime he did it on a Sunday evening, but does that make
it ok, does that mean he is getting better?
Any advice would help!
#3...Hi Camille, I have a question Hope u or Todd can answer for me, can someone on crack change drug- like go to snorting crank or cocaine and get the same effect, or will they still have to seak out crack because of the buzz? Please Reply, Just Curious, Karen Zepeda
#4... Just a note to let you know that your Web Site is very much appreciated.
My financee is determined to get away from his demons. I have been researching and came across your site. While I already knew a lot of the information you had, your site has reinforced what I am going to have to do.
Thank you so much!
Betty Ensor Thomas
Tell Todd I said, he's awesome.
I really appreciated his program last night.
He said some things last night that I needed to hear.
I guess my love for Ben has sometimes clouded over in my mind his addiction to crack.
I have an email out to his lawyer, and I'm trying to get the facts of his case and the charges up against him.
I suppose Hope told you about Stone Hawk.
Unless the State of Tennesee decides to pay for it, I won't be sending him there.
If you or Todd know of any program that can be suggested, let me know.
I'm not gonna do anything but point the DA or Judge to the fact my son has a problem and needs help.
I'm not gonna hand carry Ben, he needs to step out on his own where this is concerned.
Love you guys and thanks for everything.
As soon as I can get some things settled financially, I want that CD Todd played last night. It was great. Maybe someday he and I can jam together. I'm a drummer. I love jazz.
THE FOLLOWING EMAIL IS A WEIRD ONE...FIRST HE IS SCREAMING FOR HELP, NEXT HE CLAIMS HIS LIFE IS IN DANGER IF WE HELP OR WRITE HIM BACK...OF COURSE I DID WRITE HIM BACK...I TRULY HOPE HE IS OK..AND WHEN HE REALLY NEEDS HELP...WE WILL BE HERE WAITING FOR HIS RETURN. CRACK IS CRACK...SAD BUT TRUE!
#6...From: steven cherry Sent: Tuesday, October 19, 2004 11:14 AMTo: firstname.lastname@example.orgSubject: I NEED HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!
my name is steve.i am addicted to crack real bad.i don't need to go into all the things i've done to get high.but lately i just get high when i get paid. yes i still have a job.when i don't have any money i won't get high probally because i dont want to go back to jail.this is why this thing is driving me so crazy.if there is anything you can tell me to help please help me! please!
RESPONSE: Todd Gibson
Hello this is todd,
Sorry I took so long to replya little more info will help us formulate a plan 4 u 2 start your journey
What HAS worked
Any jail or treatment
Do u no safe people
Where are u located
What I CAN tell you is crack can be conquered and u can be free forever from the possession of crackis it easy NOis it possible YES
Have u looked thru our web sites http://www.devilscandy.com/ and http://www.crackcocainerecovery.com/ u need to go ALL the way thru them...then we have common ground to start at...hope is here now BUT I do need more info to help u...ALSO we do a live radio show on Thursday night 930pm eastern time zone...come listen and start the journey...PEACE...Todd
AND THEN HIS RESPONSE: From: steven cherry Sent: Friday, October 29, 2004 11:15 AMTo: email@example.comSubject: RE: I NEED HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!
No longer need your help. Please don't write me again my life depends on it. I swear-DON'T EVER WRITE OR CONTACT ME AGAIN!!!!!!!!
HERE WE HAVE AN INTERESTING ONE....WANTS TO STOP SMOKING CRACKCOCAINE WITHOUT THE POWER OF GOD OVER CRACKCOCAINE....GOOD LUCK!!
#7...From: Duke Swan
Sent: Wednesday, October 27, 2004 3:02 AM
Subject: but im an atheist todd
wtf i dont believe in god i dont accept god but i want to quit using
THIS ONE IS FROM SOMEONE WE HAVE NOT HEARD FROM IN 8 WEEKS AS OF 1-6-05...THE LAST CONVERSATION I HAD WITH HIM WAS WHEN HE TOLD ME HE WENT TO THE STORE FOR "A PACK OF MATCHES" TO LIGHT HIS CIGARETTES BECAUSE HIS WIFE WOULD KILL HIM IF HE LIT THEM ON THE STOVE....ONCE HE ARRIVED AT THE STORE-HE "RAN" INTO A PUNK CRACKDEALER WHO HE OWED $800 OR SO HE SAID AND THAT IF HE DID NOT GIVE THE PUNK CRACKDEALER HIS CAR...HE WOULD GET BEAT UP REAL BAD AND HE HAS BEEN BEAT UP REAL BAD BEFORE AND DID NOT WANT TO HAVE THAT HAPPEN. I CALLED HIM ON HIS "STORY" WHICH WAS BULL...AND HAVE NOT HEARD FROM HIM SINCE! HOPE YOU ARE OK...WILLIAM. CRACK IS CRACK...SAD BUT TRUE! THE CRACKLIES AT THEIR BEST!!
#8...Hey Todd, I just wanted to say how much I appreciate you and your willingness to share your experiences. I received the CDs and am truly grateful. My mother brought your books down to me this weekend and with them reality is starting to set in. Last night 10/23 I had several dreams about crack with one so realistic I awoke only to find myself plotting a way to leave the house and get fired up. I used your 3 minute rule and talked myself into going back to sleep, it really felt good waking up this morning in my bed and not stumbling in as I know that would have happened. I relate to your book and have a new outlook on life although I know times will be tougher. It's an ongoing battle that is happening even as I sleep. Anyway, thanks a lot. I'll talk to you again soon.
#9...I am not absolutely sure. What can I do to be sure? All the signs and symptons are there. But no concrete evidence.
My son was mentally abused by his father, he went through a divorce a father who committed suicide all in one year. He has no life now. He lives with me, he cannot keep a job, I cannot keep a dollar, he steals my checks, money, anything he can get his hands on. His room looks like a pig sty. It reaps of marijuana. He smokes weed with cigars, every trash can in the house is full of it every day.
He is 28. Where do I go for help. Where do I start. How do I begin.
Last week was awesome. The 75 day program is sooo spot on. On Friday, I had a big blow. I thought I had made my sales quota and over for the week. At 5:00pm I found out they were not all new sales. Half were renewals. Which meant after all my efforts, I would still get minimum wage vs 3.00 an hour increase for the week!
Then Saturday Lynn took me into work. The traffic tried to keep us from getting there. So we took another route. Oh Boy! There was a RR crossing stopping us. There was NO TRAIN! We looked at each other, identified the problem, & started laughing. Right then, I mean Right then,.... the crossing guard arms of the RR track raised. AMAZING ! ! Also, Saturday I made my quota for the week in sales to raise my hourly & receive great commission.
There was more to last week. This was the most amazing.
I apologize for the delay in getting back to yall. Today is 21 days!! Yahoo!!
I need to get to work now. Talk to yall soon. Thanks again. Have a wonderful & prosperous day. CLEAN ! ! Our number is 281-xxx-xxxx, for future reference.
This email came from someone who just cut into our site...started blabbing really bad remarks about our site and how we go about this ministry...even though everything is right there for all to see...this person felt compelled to cut us down while stating words right from our site...like DUH lady if you do not like us then go somewhere else...her first letter is not here...it is not worthy of printing in this blog...the response and the "other" letters I will post here.
#11...From: lesley cohen
Sent: Tuesday, October 12, 2004 9:29 AM
Subject: RE: group post
Just because I have an opinion,does not mean that I am a fool. You have no
love to give. I feel so sorry for you. You have nazi like tendencies. You
BAN people from expressing themselves? How dare you. Good luck to YOU.
From: "Camille Gibson"
To: "'lesley cohen'"
Subject: RE: group post
Date: Mon, 11 Oct 2004 23:07:18 -0400
..you are an opiniated fool...take your "opinions" elsewhere...your
From: lesley cohen
Sent: Monday, October 11, 2004 10:37 PM
Subject: RE: group post
Oh my goodness...someone has anger issues! I will pray for you...a
release from your anger. How dare you say that 12 step programs are a
"cult" . I was not "putting you down" I was expressing an opinion. The fact that you
"block" people from free expression, makes me wonder who is in the
"cult"...get a hold of your ego! I wish you another 24 hrs...if you
cannot achieve serenity at least you can be sober. Please do not send
me any more information...I am no longer interested in a group that has
people governing over what can and cannot be read. It frightens me that this is
happening. Your anger is alarming. Why don't you try allowing people to
form their own opinions....your "rejection"of my ideas makes me feel
sad. I will talk about this in my group. I hope that you can get over your anger.
***Hello this is todd,
While I do respect ALL forms of "recovery" and "treatment" I do not
and will not allow a direct "put-down" of our web-site. If you would
like to post your opinion of how a person should "recover" fine and
dandy, but leave your "personal" jabs out, if you do not like our approach then do not come
to this group if all you can do is jab. Meetings help a lot of people
BUT not everyone, even if they "do not work it" as it should be. Not
that it is any of your business or obvious concern we are currently helping and have
hundreds of people COMPLETELY free from crackcocaine, and that is
what we do, that is all. If you have noticed when you are not jabbing
at our "completely damaging" web site we direct those who suffer from
alcohol or "other" drug abuse to other people and places to deal with
those substances first. We deal with crackcocaine and that is all and if it offends
you that we do separate crack as being "more" evil than other drugs, then there
is nothing more that I can say to you. All of who and what we
are, is in our web-sites. And from the sound of it, it does not go along with
how YOU are staying clean. Not everyone needs the same way..oh yeah if you
are into the 12 step cult as that being THE ONLY WAY, then I feel sorry for you
on that level..as far as you being clean, that is great. That is the
mission, it is just that God has put my path to connect with those who do not,
will not or cannot respond in the traditional ways. Of course all of that is in
our "completely damaging" web site that you probably just quickly
glanced over. THIS WILL BE THE LAST POST TO YOU ON THIS
SUBJECT. Further disrespect for our site, methods and hundreds of people who HAVE found THEIR freedom from crackcocaine...your posts will not
go through and you will be banned from group. I somehow imagine that
will be OK with you since you have the ONLY WAY to get and stay clean
from crackcocaine, or as we say conquer crackcocaine forever
and be completely free from crackcocaine possession
#12...From: Linda Sent: Tuesday, October 05, 2004 8:07 AMTo: firstname.lastname@example.orgSubject: Hello again
Todd and Camille,
Just a note to say Good Morning and Marie just called me early, and told me that she sure did enjoy talking to you last night. She appreciated so much you taking the time to call and talk to her. William did not come home last night, but walked in the door about 6:30 am this morning, but was straight. It shocked her to see that he was not all high, she ask him about last night, he said that he went looking for stuff, but could not find it, so he slept in his truck and was going to work this morning, she said he looked able to work today. She also told me that you were praying that he did not find anything, and as we know God is good, and he couldn't find alot last night. He may have got hold of a little, but not much. Anyway we were both pleased to hear that. She will do what you said as far as getting the guns to my house or his dads. I am not married to his dad anymore, but my husband Terry, his step dad, is a very compassionate person and wants to see him clean also. She was feeling much better after talking to you. We both agreed that you and Camille are heaven-sent to our family. She ask me how I found you, and I can't even remember the details, except that I went to the Lord and ask for someone to be put in his path and our path that understood what he is going through, what Marie is going through, and what I am going through. I did not feel comfortable going to my pastor, or even close friends, who has not been through all of this.
So I have kept this to myself, and tried to deal with it, and Marie also. But I know that God put you in our path, and I know that for a fact.
I can now say that as I begin to understand things better, that I can see a ray of hope. I am looking at this addiction differently now, I am not mad at William, but I am getting furious at the monster that is inside of him, at first I didn't see it as a monster, but only as his bad habit, but now I look at it different. And I can say NO to monsters, and not let them control my life. As Camille told me in an e-mail, I will not live the crack-cocaine life, I will not let it control my house. I take control of its contents.
Thanks again for taking the time to call Marie. I love her very much, and my grandbaby. I guess also I am afraid that I won't see my grandson as much, but she is moving here close to me. At first she was talking about staying there in Richmond, 100 miles away, and told me that I would not see my grandbaby as much if her and William split up, I was heart broke, but now she has changed her mind and is coming my way. Please write if you have time.
#13...We live in Toronto Canada Todd
Our phone number is 416 xxx-xxxx and his email is whitegary@.......
I appreciate any information you have as we have been through all the treatments centres and he has been in AA NA off and on for 15yrs.
I have been in Alanon for 5yrs off an on but have been working my program consistantly for the last 6months I also have my 12yr old daughter in Alateen.
I know what you mean about some alanons though about leaving and i dont want to but im near the end of my rope thats why i signed on to your show.
Our address is
Thank you so much for responding back so soon
Have a good day
Thanks to you and Todd for taking time to speak with me last night, I am very grateful for your guidance and support. And I'm sure Shannon will be as well in the long run. In your email you had asked for his jail address. I would greatly appreciate it if you would send him an encouraging card or letter, I think he's really like that. His address is:
Knoxville, TN 37918
I'll be in touch again soon, after my next visit with him. Talk to you then.
This is an interesting one...we did a phone intervention with this family, and for the most part they did not feel they should do a whole lot about Roger...they said "well he is not smoking as much"...well now the update on Roger is he is living at Mom's house...has a 4 month "layoff" from a very good job....and apparently the family STILL is not convinced Roger has a crack problem....time will tell!
#15...From: Br51stew@.... Sent: Tuesday, September 21, 2004 1:46 PMTo: email@example.comSubject: (no subject)
Thank you and Todd for your concern about my son, Roger. I have followed the suggestions that Todd gave to me when we last talked in August. We have made excellent progress with Roger and feel that it has not been necessary for professional intervension over the telephone.Again you have my thanks for all your help.Betty Stewart
This is from Chris Farley's brother...Chris died from cocaine and alcohol.
#16...From: Thinklaughlive@aol.com [mailto:Thinklaughlive@aol.com] Sent: Friday, September 17, 2004 12:53 PMTo: firstname.lastname@example.orgSubject: The Chris Farley Foundation
Certainly, add our website link to your sites. It looks like you and Todd have done some wonderful work.
Our philosophy is to use the power of humor to resist and heal. So I'm sure it can be a value to your work as well. All the best.
Keep it up and we wish you well.
The Chris Farley Foundation
Think. Laugh. Live.
#17...From: Denise Hutton Sent: Wednesday, September 15, 2004 1:15 PMTo: email@example.comSubject: RE: I am at a roadblockImportance: High
Thank you again for all of your help and words of wisdom. I am just so hurt and sad and tired, I have been trying to help him for the past 6 months out of our one year relationship. He is so sweet and charming and kind when he is not high and I truly love him alot, but I just do not want to continue to be abused by his addiction anymore. I do not mean physically...I mean mentally...he has and would never hurt me or my son. He cries and says he wants to quit...he by his own discord went to a rehab recently for 30+ days and was clean for 40 days and whenever he left their facility despite their advice to stay, it only took one week...not even and there he was at it again. I just am so confused I know that alot of the reason he is like that is because he never had anyone to guide him even as a child, I think that he can be better and since we began dating he has become a much nicer and better person,but what if I continue to try and try only to bring myself and my son more and more disappointment. How can you tell if someone really wants to quit or if they are just saying that to keep you around?
Denise L. Hutton
#18...From: Karla Stroman
Sent: Monday, December 20, 2004 4:48 PM
Subject: RE: "Jerry's story"
Hi Camille and Todd!
I needed to drop you a note to say that things were going quite well with Jerry until last night when I asked him who was text messaging him and he blew up at me and said he doesn't feel comfortable in this house. I think that he wants to leave again. I know that this process cannot be easy and I surely am a rookie at dealing with someone stopping using crack just as I was a rookie at ever experiencing crack in my life in any way. What is the best thing for me to do? He's angry at me for making him leave for those five weeks and he only wants to talk to people who have "been there", where he is. What do I do now? Karla
Thank you for the "blog". I listened to it this morning at my office.
I'm going to send it to my home e-mail and ask Jerry to listen to it. I messed up. I thought I was strong enough to not be manipulated by him anymore but I messed up. I don't know what to say about the situation other than I broke down and it was so wonderful the first few days. I would like him to tell you what he has been doing. I hope that he'll call you very soon.
I know it's not a joke. I just didn't do it right.
I'm so sorry that I was weak.
MY RESPONSE: 1-6-05
Hello this is todd,
I know that YOU know it is not a joke...I just needed to WAKE u up...and it sounds like it worked...glad u wrote...we love you and care about you and understand how difficult this is...we are here for you in whatever way we can be...our 1st belief...we believe in each success...not every failure! Pick yourself up...dust yourself off...go forward where you left off...AND ATTACK CRACK...you CAN do this without attacking Jerry...PEACE...Todd
PS come to the show tonite 930pm EST...I will be addressing how to follow the program and what to do when we fall....Todd
Karla's Response: Thanks for your love and encouragement. I will listen tonight and I will ask Jerry to listen with me if he is home from his meeting. God Bless! Karla
So there you go. Just a small taste of some of the emails we get and how we respond. Hope you enjoyed the truth....Todd