Tuesday, November 13, 2007


Why the 75 Day Program?

Where do you start with such a horrible insidious substance? How can I possibly just say words on how to end your madness with crack cocaine and expect that to just happen? Because of the harsh reality of what a stupid punk crackhead I had become, gives me the ability to do just that, give you words to attack crack so you too can conquer crack cocaine and be free forever just like I am. With crack, ya know when ya know.

I nearly lost my soul from smoking crack cocaine. Through that I found incredible power against crack cocaine in writing. I wrote everything down on paper. All my thoughts, food intake and quality, physical accomplishments, cool words that I read, phrases I heard spoken, scriptures I somehow was pointed to, feelings of being a complete and lost crackhead and hating that description of me, some trivial ideas of grandeur for some kind of life for me, names and places of interest, plans for success, charts of my existing life in treatment barracks, fantasies of love and family, stupid idiot behaviors witnessed by me and anything in any category you come up with in a facility that facilitates crackheads. This process lasted 87 days from the 90 day alternative-to-jail-program I happen to be in. I found power in writing words. For some unexplained reason, the power felt like it was going directly against crack. Even then I was not sure how to explain this and was quickly labeled “never to get better for asking questions and stating feelings”. I just had this compelling power being aimed directly at crack cocaine through writing and hope started to manifest. My narrow crack-existence was now opening up. I was writing more and finding the old Todd as God created me. I was experiencing this weird feeling of power over crack cocaine for the first time in my crack-filled life.